Questions

I have a habit of continually asking the wrong question.

When I was getting ready to finish high school, I went between "do I go to this school, or that school?!" and I would debate the pros and cons in my head with this circular reasoning that always ended up with me finally falling asleep with "this is my final decision. I'm going there." Only to wake up, go through my day and head back to bed debating it all over again, only this time ending with "this is my final decision. I'm going here."

It went on like that for months.

And then, once the decision was made and I was sitting in my dorm, I would go back and wonder if I'd really made the right decision. Most of the time, I concluded that I had, though to this day, part of me truly wonders. I missed out on a lot because of the distance I created between myself and my family. I'm still missing out on a lot.

Then again, I've had many opportunities that I would otherwise never have known about, let alone had the chance to experience.

Years later, I had this stunning realization:  I never considered the question I was asking, because I was so focused on getting an answer. Maybe I shouldn't have been asking "which college should I go to" but "should I go to college at all?"

I was recently offered a job that I really want.

I turned it down, after doing a lot of the afforementioned late night questioning/decision making.

What if I was asking the wrong question entirely?