Just out of sight

Yesterday, I went exploring.

First, I brought my car to a body shop for an estimate (it was vandalized last week) On the way, I noticed some pretty intense icicles near an historic landmarker. I decided to stop by on my way back to take a closer look.

 I should mention that these things are HUGE. Well over my head. Once I got out of the car, I noticed that the landmark was actually for a Spring. And the woods were pretty much alive with the sounds of running water with more icicles and awesomeness to explore.  I don't know what it is about rocks and water that just demand attention...but I embrace their demands. While I played mountain goat, I saw some pretty awesome stuff....

Snowy moss and lichens

A single snowflake caught on a strand of spider's web. I seriously need an actual camera instead of my phone . . .

The view from the height of my exploration

And my trail back down.

I go back to work tomorrow...settling into a regular schedule from now until mid December - Wednesday through Saturday 10 hour shifts with Sunday through Tuesday off to recoup, explore and wrangle my critters. I actually left Rocky free to roam the apartment when I went to the landromat today. I came home to no disasters! Aside from a bath towel mysteriously on the kitchen floor, my dynamic duo seemed to stay out of trouble. Of course, now that George has figured out how to get onto the fridge, there's no telling what sorts of things will happen . . .:-P

Note the computer power cord running through the door handle. Yeah. Not only is cell signal limited in here, but there's a shortage on outlets. . .

Culture Shock

I knew when I moved to Minnesota from Virginia (affectionately…or not…known as “yuppieville”) that there would be differences to which I would need to adjust. I was right. The east coast go-go-go is not so readily embraced in the mid-west. There’s time to think. Time to enjoy being alive. Time to not sit in traffic on 495 for hours on end.

Even so, it wasn’t a huge adjustment. Minnesota is home. It’s always been home. I know the lifestyle there. I just had to learn a different hospital, different ER, different set of protocols.

Contrast that with the move to Montana.

Dear goodness.

IV setups are completely different. We do not use extension sets at all. Just the hub on the catheter. Boom. They also use a different sort of IV catheter than I’ve ever used…fortunately veins are the same.

The hospital is small, so the ER doc is the admitting doc. They write the admission orders when they get to it, and then the patient is transferred to the floor. Which is actually called the “ward”

The biggest difference of all, though, is there is NO DILAUDID.

None.

Zilch.

Zippo.

You may now cue the Hallelujah Chorus.

There are other differences. I’m sure I’ll end up writing about them at some point, but they aren’t really forefront to my brain at the moment.

Yesterday I went to Kalispell – it’s a really cool city. I might actually look for a permanent job there, since there’s a bigger hospital. I explored their outdoor gear store and got a pair of North Face hiking boots on clearance - $120 down to $60. Score one for awesome. It started to snow around 5, so I decided to head back to the apartment (a 2 hour drive through the mountains along Glacier National Park) The roads were pretty decent and there was still some daylight, so about half way home, I stopped at a river access and took Rocky for a 30 minute hike. It was absolutely gorgeous. And Rocky loved the chance to run around.

I have yet to see much wildlife around here. A patient told me about the cow elk he shot, but I haven’t seen anything besides a few mule deer – and that was on the drive out here.

The rest of the drive home was slightly more treacherous, though my car handles snowy conditions like a champ. Even so, I didn’t really hear much of the audio book I downloaded for the long trips for groceries – Stephen Abrose’s “Undaunted Courage” the story of Lewis and Clark.

Today I dug out my car to trek to the post office and the Laundromat, cleaned the apartment (I got a hand vacuum yesterday: 1 dog + 1 cat + small apartment = fur everywhere :-P) and now I have a honey mustard chicken and rice cooking in my cast iron skillet – complete with lid, for my wondering mother ;-)

More adventures to come – after two night shifts…which are kinda adventures themselves….

I am tired. This is short.

Thoughts of the day:

Watching a cat jealously watch a dog chew on an apple core is somewhat hilarious. And adorable.

Lazy people are annoying.

Rain blowing in from the mountains is cold. Like, might-as-well-be-snow-because-my-face-is-numb-and-my-glasses-are-fogged-up cold.

Apparently the ten hour shifts on my contract were a misprint. It’s back to twelves after this Friday.

Most prominent thought of the day:

Leadership changes the tone of an organization completely. If your leadership is less than dedicated, distracted, or just not interested, chances are, their team will be the same way. This is especially true in the ER.

I miss my docs.

Orientated

I am going to preface this with sincerely saying that all of the people I met today were very nice. I think that working at this facility will be great….eventually.

Let’s follow that with the fact that I didn’t realize the Public Health Service was technically a branch of the military, the Indian Health Service is an off shoot of that, and go from there.

Holy cow.

If ever I doubted the rigmarole of bureaucracy, my eyes have been opened.

Today was my first day on the job. Except that the people who were supposed to run orientation weren’t there. So other people stepped in after over an hour of standing around wondering what I was supposed to do. After sitting through abbreviated orientation lectures, we were informed that we would have to come back in two weeks for “real” orientation.  Then I got the tour, and gave myself an extended tour as I went from ER to IT to Employee Health to Registration to IT to Registration to Admin to ER to Lunch to ER to Registration to IT to Employee Health to IT to Admin to IT to ER. I ended up needing two copies of the same information to give to different people for different files. I was fingerprinted (any of you contemplating asking me to help you rob a bank…sorry, I’m out) after nearly 3 hours of wandering from department to department, phone calls, forms, other forms, more phone calls. And I got computer access from a woman in an office with more paper than technology who had to switch a single computer monitor between two computers because her additional monitor was being used in the OR. (no, I’m not kidding. Apparently the OR had technical difficulties)

When all was said and [finally!] done, I got to go to the ER, where I couldn’t technically do anything because my fingerprints aren’t cleared yet. Tomorrow I get to scrub up and actually work. Maybe. Hopefully.

Today was not all frustrations. I’m actually excited about the charting software. Apparently it’s been around for almost thirty years, but it’s been updated along the way and is not only logical, but user friendly (ask me again in a couple of weeks if I hold to this).  I got to go home over lunch break and see Rocky and George (who were all too eager to check out my empty yogurt cup).

When I got home this evening, I was approached by a stereotypical inebriated individual who regaled me with tales of bullriding while asking for spare change.

After extracting myself from that situation, I came home to type this on my non-connected laptop in hopes of transferring the text to my phone and finding some miraculous data connection reliable enough to post it. Rocky and George are alternatively playing hide-n-seek – one hides under the bed while the other bounces around on top of the bed trying to figure out how his adversary disappeared.

Riding Shotgun

Today was move in day. I met my landlady, an elderly woman who moved out here from Chicago 25 years ago after injuring her knee. Inher words "They told me to go on disability, I didn't want to get bored and figured I've done plenty of crazy things, why not this." She also introduced me to her two dogs-a big black mutt appropriately named Muttsy and a smaller white and brindle whose name I honestly can't remember at the moment :-P

Once I signed the paperwork and got the walkthrough (which did not take long. This place is pretty much a small motel room with a kitchenette attached) it was time to finish out the furnishings. This meant a trip to Walmart, either in Kalispell or Great Falls. Since the weather was really drizzly and cold, I opted for Great Falls - Kalispell is a drive through the mountains that I would rather save for nice weather.

Rocky sat shotgun for the trek - a welcome change for both of us, since he's been riding in the kennel during this trip. It was absolutely hilarious to watch his reaction to the windshield wipers. He launched at them every time they swooped across, yipping in frustration when he couldn't make them stop. On the way back, I splurged on McDonalds and realized that my dog is all too capable of becoming a snob in record time. Give him fries? He's thrilled. Give him a nugget? He must be in heaven. Give him fries after a nugget? Who eats those? [let it be known that I do not regularly eat fast food, nor do I endorse giving greasy fare to pets....especially since they get spoiled that quickly :-P]

Tomorrow is my first day at the hospital...jitters are definitely on the docket tonight. And distraction is difficult since my apartment is apparently a black hole of wireless connectivity.....

Exploration

I woke up this morning, sorted out the hotel confusion, and headed out to see the sights.

Right when I turned onto the street I came in on, I caught my breath. There was a MOUNTAIN in front of me. I knew there would be, but it was still rather sudden. And beautiful.

I started driving. And realized I was driving toward Canada. I ended up turning around about 10 miles from the border. I'm going to save the actual crossing for a day when I have an adventure planned with a little more foresight.

This is where I decided to turn around :)

I think I'm gonna like it here

So tomorrow is move-in day, and probably will involve a trek back to Great Falls, or maybe Kalispell, we'll see how things go. Tonight, I will enjoy the luxury of DirecTV, snack on the last of the burritos given to me by a thoughtful Dean and deal with the wrestlings of George and Rocky.

A Picture's Worth A Thousand...Miles?

Not a chance. Especially when you've only got a camera phone.

Over the past two days, I've traveled over 1,000 miles from eastern Minnesota to northwestern Montana.  On Friday, I stopped for lunch with my mom and step-dad. Never underestimate the awesomeness of homemade food. It was almost enough to convince me to not leave. But I pried myself away from farm life and made my way to my brother and sister-in-law's. Got to see my nephew and put him down for a nap :) He is seriously the cutest little blonde kid EVER. And the chance to catch up with my brother and his wife was greatly appreciated - and much too short.

I should probably interject here that all of this traveling and visiting was done with the accompaniment of a six month old Corgi-mix (Rocky) and four month old barn-turned-house cat (George).  They have been the source of much entertainment. They cuddled, wrestled and slept while I drove and woke them up with random music.

Awesome things about this trip:

*SIGNS - road signs, warning signs, political campaign signs. Of particular note "Rattlesnakes have been observed in the area. Please stay on the sidewalk" At a rest stop, where we discovered that George harbors no affection for trucks.
My favorite sign was actually a series:
"It's self defense"
"Don't need permission"
"To VOTE"
[insert candidate's name/desired office. I was too busy laughing to remember that part. Besides, I voted absentee in Minnesota, and this was in Montana]

*SPEED LIMITS - once I hit the interstate in North Dakota, I only saw speed limits under 70mph for trucks or in towns. It was amazing. I flew.

*SUNRISES/SETS - I have always loved sunsets. And I've grown to appreciate sunrises (hey, on night shift time, they're like sunsets: they mean quality time with your pillow is at hand) This morning, I got to watch the sunrise dawn over Painted Canyon in Theodore Roosevelt National Park. It was spectacular.

I tried the self-portrait-with-dog thing, but the sun had both of us squinting. And my glasses have this annoying habit of sliding down my nose. It was not a good picture :-P

The sunset tonight was fan.tas.tic. Holy cow. I'm still trying to come up with an effective analogy and the only thing I can come up with is that sunsets in Montana are like...standing in a giant bundt cake with one slice missing. That one slice is the part of the sky that is not flamboyant with blue-turning-fire-dotted-with-clouds-over-mountains. As the evening matures into night, more and more pieces of the cake get taken away until there's only one glowing parcel left in the west. Tantalizing and vibrant, but not bright enough to actually help you see. It took nearly an hour for it to be truly dark. And once it was.....STARS. If there hadn't been a pickup in front of me (there are mostly pickups on the road out here. And most of them are Dodge or Ford) I could have turned off my headlights and been invisible. I am so excited to see what it actually looks like around the town where I'll be living for the next six months.

I'll have plenty of time to explore, too, since I can't move into my apartment until Monday. Here's to hoping I can actually contact someone with the agency so my housing is paid tomorrow night! Otherwise I'll be cuddling in the car with my critters for warmth.

Whirlwind

So. Three months since my last post.

In three months, I have...

...obtained a job.
...signed a lease and moved into a townhouse - complete with furniture.
...adopted a kitten - the progeny of my mom's barn cat.
...quit my job due to union requirements and the conflict of conscience they created.
...watched way more daytime television than is healthy.
...taken some absolutely gorgeous walks during my favorite time of year.
...exercised a whole lot of trust and flexibility.
...signed a contract to start a new job next week.
...prepared to move for that job - which is in MONTANA!

Lots of changes, which I had not anticipated at all.  I'm really going to try to blog more regularly with this - and get a camera that takes halfway decent pictures.

Today, I went to complete my required drug screen and was told that I couldn't due to the hospital not having the billable account in their records, so I have to go back tomorrow.

Even though I work in it, and love it to death, healthcare annoys me sometimes.

Contrast that with going to register to vote, which was ridiculously simple.

All of the paperwork stuff is starting to make me dizzy. I'll be glad to hit the open road to big sky country in three days.

After I clean up the shredded paper towels the critters scattered across my living room . . .

Freedom

I did it!

I got a dog, quit my job and moved 1300 miles from where I'd lived for a decade.

I think I'm still in shock.

And, by the way? Unemployment is not cool. It makes weekends seem like the low points, because there's no chance an HR person is gonna call you on Saturday.

This whole experience is definitely not shaping up the way I expected, although, if I'm honest, I'm not really sure just what I expected to begin with.  It's like I've been transported back to an alternate universe...older me, with memories completely separate from this place, same mom, but she's married to a different guy...just weird.

My soul is finding rest, though. I've actually started pondering over some of the tough questions that I had just shoved off the back burner into the freezer. Sometimes the answers aren't what I'd hoped - the teary phone calls and awkward silences are proof enough of that. But it's kinda neat to think that maybe, just maybe, the rat race that I've been running for so long is actually behind me. I can take time to live now.

You know, once I'm not unemployed and stuff.

Where I am

When I was young, couldn't wait to grow up, get away and get out on my own
And looking back now, ain't it funny how, I've been trying to get back home...

I am a remarkably messed up individual. When fall comes around, I get all nostalgic in a happy way - anticipating snow and cold and cuddling under a blanket with a good book after going outside. Most people hate winter and get depressed with the mandatory extra work of digging their cars out of the snow. I get depressed in spring time when all I can think is "if it's this hot now, what's it going to be like in a couple of months?" I hate heat and humidity.

Or maybe I hate that I can't wear a sleeveless shirt in the humid heat without feeling like a legged Jabba the Hut from Star Wars.

I am irritated at myself for being irritated without actually changing anything. For trying to change it and failing. For not being further along than I am now, and for not really having a clear goal of where I'd like to be and what "further along" actually looks like. Married? Kids? Can't say that I don't want it, but neither can I say that I feel that's what I'm missing. It's deeper than that - and I hate thinking of "marriage and children" as checkmarks to be obtained on a list of "Things Successful Grown-ups Have" They're not things, they're people.

*sigh*

I can't see any way out of where I am. And where I am isn't even really bad, it's just not what I want. I want to live in the country and raise horses. How I'm going to do that when I'm a fat girl with little mechanical knowledge and not really any savings account is beyond me.

Life is tiring lately. I feel like I can't get enough sleep even if I stay in bed all day.

Rescue, 911!

I can remember watching in awe as William Shatner narrated the recreated scenes of 911 calls from across the country. Survivors of harrowing car crashes, landslides and the like were interviewed, the dispatchers who took the calls were thanked, and I, somewhere in my subconscious 10 year old self, determined that was one of the coolest things ever.

Now, more than a decade and a half later, I'm a rescuer. I'm on the ambulance and in the ER. I have a citation from the town in which I volunteer and I just won a "Community Hero" award.

Wait, what?

Normally I just take it as a day by day, this is what I do, yeah, of course, sort of thing. But every now and again it blows me away. I'm grateful to be involved in something that makes a real difference. I love what I do and the people with whom I work, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Introspective Retrospect

When I write, it tends to be in times when I'm feeling a little more on the down side. There's a lot of reasons for that, I suppose, but I don't really want to get into them. While I was driving to the station after work today, I started thinking about the past year of my life in a different way: in terms of the patients - people - I helped.

It was pretty awesome.

There was the 40 something male with incredibly slurred speech and dizziness resulting from a stroke that we treated with TPA and sent to a larger hospital where he had an embolectomy and resolved symptoms as a result.

The guy having a heart attack, trying to joke it away before he was sent to the cath lab.

The 25 year old female who ultimately died, but was saved long enough for her family to say good bye - and whose organs helped save several other people.

The patients I treated as a student who asked if I did home care because they liked the way I treated them so much.

There are plenty of irritating stories, plenty of ridiculous stories, plenty of plain old stupid stories. . . but at the end of the day, when I think about what I get the privilege to call my job, I am astounded, grateful and so incredibly happy. This is the coolest stuff on earth, no doubt about it - even if I do get overwhelmed at times.